106 Osaka Apartment A
by Shadownia 'Fried Rice' Clow
Summary: Domestic life and all the un-domestic things about it. There are daddy and brother complexes, gossipy uncles, warring twins, haunted apartments, a landlord who insists on being called Manager, odd love affairs, a brother-sister pair who have Gundam and Teddy Bear obsessions, some crazy love shapes, karaoke parties, and one of those occasional days of peace and quiet...maybe.
1. Merry Christmas and Happy New Neighbors

Merry Fucking Christmas to all my sexy people out there. And because it's Christmas, we shall begin a new story about the crack that can possibly happen when Vanguard characters have a domestic life! Welcome to 106 Osaka Apartment A!

* * *

"Daddy!"

A hurling ball of pink frills, pink lace, pink fluffy, pink cupcakes, pink candy, and pink everything torpedoes into the master bedroom of the moderate apartment in 106 Osaka.

"Daddy, Mommy, WAKE UP! It's Christmas and there are strange people in the hallway!"

A pile of blue hair mumbled from the aqua bed sheets and shifted.

"Are you sure it's not just Santa, sweetie?"

"I don't think Santa has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nice ass, Mommy."

The brown haired pile sat up and opened his dark teal eyes.

"I think it's the new neighbors, baby. They did say they were going to move in around Christmas, right?"

Pink ball decided to barrel into the now sitting up brown haired pile. Said brown haired pile catches the pink ball and cuddles her for a good morning hug.

"Oh how's my little girl? Merry Christmas morning, my baby."

"Merry Christmas Daddy!"

The pink ball called Rinka Kai gives her daddy; Toshiki Kai, a morning kiss. Without leaving the comfort of her daddy's arms, she waves to her mommy; Aichi Sendou-Kai and says good morning to him.

"Merry Christmas morning, mommy."

"Merry Christmas to you too darling."

Toshiki lifts his 10-year-old up and onto the floor. He crouches down to her level to give her another kiss and ruffles her messy brown hair.

"Alright sweetie, Mommy and Daddy need to shower and get changed, so why don't you go outside?"

"Can I stay here Daddy? Plllleeeeaaasssseeee? I need help curling my hair and I also need to change and my present is here too! So please, Daddy, pretty please?"

Rinka gave Toshiki puppy dog eyes she knew her daddy can't resist. Kai tried to throw away the temptation but as his daughter got cuter and cuter, he started to buckle and crack.

Then he did.

"If it's alright with Mommy."

"Please mommy?"

Aichi just sighed. Rinka was a real Daddy's Little Princess, so once Kai collapses he just pretty much goes with the flow.

"Alright Rinka. Go take a shower and don't take too long. Or do you want someone to help you wash your hair?"

Rinka has hair much like her father's, but the back of her hair is a long waterfall of copper brown.

"I want Daddy to help!"

That's that. Even being ten doesn't stop her from being so spoiled. Rinka ran to her room and grabbed her giant fluffy pink with purple unicorn towel, then dashed right behind her father and they trailed off to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

Aichi just watched as his husband and their daughter went into the bathroom and the sound of the bath water started running. They really were one happy family.

And maybe they were about to be happier.

In the bathroom…

"Daddy, I think I may have double knotted the ribbons on my gown, can you help me?"

Toshiki pads over to his daughter standing on the fluffy aquamarine rug and stops her fiddling fingers.

"You really need to be careful about tossing and turning at night. They mess up the ribbons really badly in the morning."

"Sorry Daddy…"

Kai gently unties the tangled ribbons with the utmost care and the dress begins to slide off her shoulders.

Now, Rinka isn't just any spoiled Daddy's girl. Rinka is a spoiled Daddy's girl with a HUGE Daddy complex with Toshiki and Aichi completely oblivious to the girl's obsession towards her very handsome father.

So when Rinka gives her Daddy a hug, she whispers "Carry me, please?" and looks down just in time to see Kai's half naked body.

Not the she wouldn't be seeing any of that when she's in the tub.

Kai gives a kiss to his little girl and throws in some bubble bath into the tub. The bubbles begin to, well; bubble as soon as it hits the water and within minutes the scent of gingerbread fills the room.

Rinka stealthily slips off her panties and nightgown as her father says he'll turn around to let her undress.

"It's okay daddy, my clothes are already off."

When his daughter gently presses up against him, he can feel her soft skin on his chest. That's enough proof for him. She repeats her earlier request with just as much zeal and softness.

"Carry me to the tub, please?"

Toshiki give a soft sigh and whisks his daughter up, pushing them even closer, and he sets her in the bubble bath. Rinka takes the opportunity to see Toshiki's torso, taking great care to remember each line and curve like the perfect little pervert she was. She throws a little water just to see the soft tan skin glisten in the bright lights of the bathroom. Kai thrashes a little back. She retorts with a small sprinkle. They get into a full out water fight.

"Rinka, we have to get your bath done! Mommy and I need to take a bath too."

Rinka pouted.

But then Kai just looked at his wet self and decided that smelling like mint and gingerbread isn't that bad of an idea.

"Oh I might as well take a bath here too, since I'm halfway there anyway."

Rinka's ears turned red and the corners of her lips could not stop turning upward.

"Then again, mommy needs to as well."

Rinka pouted even more.

Toshiki stood and called opened the door, calling out to his husband.

"Aichi, come in and take a bath with us!"

Who knew Aichi could move at the speed of light?

Soon, all three of them got caught in a water fight Toshiki started. After Aichi calls it quits, they wash each other's backs and hair. Toshiki gets out first and he has a sinking feeling that someone (some two people, perhaps?) is glaring daggers at the bubbles for some obviously unidentifiable reason. Rinka gets out next and gets into her fluffy unicorn towel.

"Daddy, can you help me change?"

"Sure sweetie. Aichi, I'll be in our room."

Aichi finishes drying himself off and has a feeling one person has been lewdly spying on his butt while a slightly frightening aura spewed out from somewhere. Aichi decided to brush the second one off as his imagination.

Toshiki lifts up Rinka and she immediately clings onto him. They think it's a bad habit that she clings her legs around the person carrying her, but then again, what do these parents know?

Kai manages to grab the present off of the shelf without his towel falling off (much to Rinka's fuming disappointment) and turns around to dress.

He doesn't seem to realize that Rinka's too busy looking at his sweet ass to even think about asking for help.

By the time he's dressed in his jeans, black trench coat, white collared shirt, and black tie; Rinka is still in her underwear just simply staring at her father. Then she opens her present and squeals.

"Thank you Daddy! Thank you so much!"

Kai laughs at his daughter's excitement softly and takes the Santa dress from her hands. He slips it over her head and gently zips up the red velvet. As a finishing touch, he slips a Santa hat on her head and gives her a kiss of the cheek.

"My beautiful little Santa."

Kai crouches down to her level and whispers in her ear.

"Did you get them?"

Rinka smiles devilishly, knowing exactly what her father is talking about.

"They even have mistletoe on it."

"And the other one?"

"Candy cane."

Toshiki nods in approval.

"My daughter has good taste."

"I think she gets it from her uncle Jun."

Aichi is standing in the door way dressed in a plain hoodie with a giant candy cane on it and soft green pajama pants with Christmas trees on them, signaling he was going to stay home today.

"Breakfast is almost ready you two, so whatever secret exchanging is going on, please wrap it up."

When they hear Aichi's footsteps in the kitchen area, they giggle.

"Oh wait one second."

Rinka bolts into her room and grabs a credit card from her desk. She skids to a stop right before her father and sticks out the greenish card to him.

"Here you go!"

"Are you sure you don't want to buy more equipment?"

"Nah, I wanna save up some space."

Toshiki nods and takes his daughter's hand, walking down the hallway for breakfast.

And breakfast is gingerbread-shaped chocolate chip pancakes.

"So what are we going to do about our new neighbors?"

"I'll make cookies for them later."

"Mommy, can I stay at home to help?"

"Sorry, baby but you'll have to go to school."

Rinka pouted.

When they ate up and finished their pancakes, Rinka decided to do something funny.

She decorated the next door, the one the new neighbors will be moving into, with tons and tons of Christmas ornaments. And for some weird reason, she decided it would be good to hang a Gloomy Bear and a random Gundam on the wreath she put on the door.

"Hurry up Rinka!"

Rinka raced down the stairs and jumped into the front seat of the car, holding onto her Alpaca-shaped bento and schoolbag.

"How many kids do you want to bet are in my class today, Rinka? I'd say none. They're probably just like you, they want to take the holidays off."

"I doubt it. I think most will be in attendance."

Toshiki gave Rinka a strange look.

"Really?"

"Yup."

"1000 Yen on that."

"Wanna raise it to 1500?"

"You can count on it."

He spent the whole time thinking about if his daughter was just trolling him or being serious.

After all, Rinka is the kind of person where if you give her an inch, she'll span the land mass and if you give her nothing at all, she'll span the earth just to spite you.

When the car pulled up to the parking lot, Rinka and her father went their separate ways. Rinka going to the elementary school and Kai going to the university next door.

"Have a good day, Daddy."

"You too, baby."

A quick kiss later, they're off.

As he watched her go off, he spotted a familiar – or semi familiar – blonde hair near the entrance of the elementary.

A stoic little girl with dark blonde and light blue eyes scoping out the school at the entrance. She wasn't wearing a school uniform so what was she doing? A new student perhaps? Rinka just ran by her shouting her friends to catch up, but the stoic girl just seemed to stare emptily forward.

Kai was weary but when she didn't do anything other than stare, he left and went into the Physics and Astronomy building. As he entered his classroom, all the girls (and a select few guys) were in their seats. He sighed and pulled out 1500 yen from his wallet, putting it in his other pocket.

"My daughter must be psychic or something."

Rinka sneezed in her classroom and suddenly had a sinking feeling a lot of females were shamelessly staring at her Dad's butt.

Her mood turned sour.

And all the students in the university class for Engineering Physics felt a very frighteningly sour aura seep into the room. Their very sexy teacher was oblivious.

And as for the little blonde girl outside; she was holding an apple. She bit into it.

"Yes, yes indeed. This apple is very sour…"

* * *

MERRY CHRISTMAS! =)

~106 Osaka Apartment A


	2. Happy New Big Brother

A/N: To be interrupted while you fangirl over Ono Daisuke character, the most irritating thing in the world that can only be cured by having yourself a dose of an Atsushi Abe character. *coughcoughDaddycoughcough* GlowGlowBat decided it be funny to call my ass up and tell me; "I'm writing the next chapter for apartment B, and I can't decide if I should have Kinta talking to Leon or Yuri on the phone". Well, fuck me, I'm a little busy wishing that Sebastian Michaelis was real and that sexy bastard was my goddamn demon butler.

So get your ass up and give me a damn appreciated review, I worked my ass off to get this up.

P.S. I'm starting this up where Aichi meets Kenji, his new neighbor!

* * *

_Knock knock_.

Aichi looked up from his knitted scarf.

Who was coming to visit at this time? He wasn't expecting any visitors.

When he opened the door with a soft click, he revealed a blonde haired and blue eyed young man standing tall in front of his door. The man looked surprised at him. Aichi had a feeling that he was being mistaken as a girl right around now.

"Hello, can I help you?"

The man visibly relaxed, reassuring Aichi that this man was now sure that the tiny person with blue hair standing in front of him was a guy.

"Hello. My name is Mitsusada Kenji." He said, bowing his head slightly. "Me and my sister just moved in to the apartment next door, so I thought I'd greet our neighbors."

"I see. I'm Sendou Aichi. I live here with my husband and daughter. I hope we'll get along."

A puzzled face. Well, this was getting a bit long. But Aichi was alright, after all neighbors should know at least a little bit about each other.

"Ah, it's a little complicated, but I hope you don't mind that we're..."

"Oh, no, it's fine. We won't mind at all, I'm actually the same, kind of. It is confusing." He laughed, scratching his cheek. "I better be going now, I don't want my sister to burn the apartment down." With that, he turned with a wave and left Aichi at the door.

"Ah, just a moment." Aichi calls. Kenji pivots and turns to attention. "Um, your sister, how old is she?"

"Eh? Ah, she's eleven." There was a pause as Aichi processed the information, does that mean...?

"But, you look like you're in your twenties! She's rather young." With observation, Aichi could a miniscule dash of hurt flash in the man's sky colored eyes.

"My mom was rather young, around 22, when she had me, so I was around 18 when my sister came to be." A veil of dark sadness and painful memories. Aichi decided he wouldn't press on. "It's a little confusing, but we moved here since I'm attending the university nearby and she's going to be transferred into the fifth grade at the elementary school right next door."

Something sparked in Aichi's eyes, something like realization and a chance to change the subject. He'd already trespassed enough.

"Oh, my husband teaches there, and my daughter is in the fifth grade at the school." He smiled. "Please get along with them."

Kenji smiled. "I will."

When Aichi shut the door behind him, he realized there was a drilling sound in the next apartment.

Manager let them re-decorate the apartment so early?

Aichi shrugged and set back to knitting his scarf.

Such pain…

Such sadness…

Such darkness…

Why do such clear skies have a hurricane buried inside?

Then the timer rang, signaling the time was right for the cookies in the oven to be taken out for consumption.

As Aichi retrieved the cookies, he accidently burned his hand (who would burn their hand on purpose again?), he ran it under the cooling waters of the kitchen sink, but couldn't help but think back on how agonized the young man's expression looked.

"What could ever trigger a storm in someone's heart so destructive, that it tears down a beautiful door to the soul…and replaces it with a tattered veil that sends shadows into those who look?"

* * *

"Daddy!"

It was a few days since the new neighbors have moved in. Rinka and Toshiki haven't met them yet, but from what Aichi told them, they were just perfectly normal people…with a lot of decorations hobbies.

So life continued on as normal.

Rinka leapt into Toshiki's arms, the other professors with him just laughed. Kai shot them a Death Glare (in which they all became Kai's obedient little slaves) before smiling and hugging his daughter. Rinka gave them the Demon's Eye a little later when she felt someone staring inappropriately at her father's delicious booty.

"Kai-sensei, you sure are lucky. Your daughter is still so attached to you."

"My Rinka is just a very good girl."

Rinka made happy noises and nuzzled even closer to her father. She placed a soft kiss on his neck, which in turn, was returned with an innocent kiss to the forehead. For once, Rinka relented and kept away the UST.

"Ne, Papa?"

"Yes, my little angel?"

"I think there'll be something in my room…"

"There are always a lot of things in your room. Be specific."

"Something big, fluffy, and red…"

Toshiki didn't question any further. His daughter always did have a strange sixth sense.

Kai waved that thought away. If she did, something would be moving into their house and it would be providing a lot of trouble.

A lot of trouble…

* * *

"WHAT. HAPPENED. TO. MY. ROOM!?"

Aichi and Toshiki held their hysterical daughter as she looked at all her pink and cute Lolita cuteness all piled up onto the right side of the room. A bed, desk, and bookshelf have been moved to the other side of the room along with a few packing boxes.

"Who did this to me, Mommy!? Why would anyone mess up my little wonderland?"

As Aichi held his crying daughter to him and spoke condolences while Kai was scanning the whole apartment for anything that he could destroy as compensation for his daughter's tears, a certain redhead bumbled up the stairs with a few more moving boxes.

"Here we go! Ah, now that's done, I'll just rest on the couch for now."

While the voice rang with familiarity in Kai's head, the steady and firm grip on the riding crop in his hand still didn't waver.

The muffled thud of moving boxes hitting the red carpeted floor caught little Rinka's attention to a mop of equally red hair on her family's aqua couch.

And here is where the lesson "Cute things are ALWAYS evil" shall be learned.

Rinka somehow got her hands on a cat-o'-nine-tails whip and decided on some training practice. And a mop of red hair was a wonderful target for whipping.

And also intense interrogation.

"WHO ARE YOU!?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM!?"

"YOU MONGREL, YOU RAT, YOU LITTLE BOTTOM-FEEDING FREE-LOADING SCUM!"

"ANSWER ME, YOU OBNOXIOUSLY FLAMING RED BAG OF THING!"

"GUUUUWWWWAAARRRRRGGGGUUUUUHH HHH!"

Once Rinka was finished and Toshiki wiped the sweat off her face, the father and daughter finally took a good look at the intruder.

Kai's face snapped in recognition.

"Suzugamori Ren!?"

After Aichi and Rinka made tea (which was not poisoned), the whole family and Ren were seated in the living room. Aichi and Kai were sharing the couch; Rinka was clinging to her father's legs while her hand was relaxed to the grip even though what she held in her tiny (and just manicured hands) was her favorite decorated-in-so-much-cute-lolita-stuff-that-should-never-exist-on-such-an-item bull whip. Kai had an irritated look on his face; the only thing that kept his temper in check was the warmth of Aichi next to him and Rinka snuggling close.

"So, you decided to move into my apartment, with my wife-ish husband, into my daughter's room, and adopting yourself into my family, therefore declaring yourself my son. You also decided to really move in by bringing all the things you could ever dream of packing, ditching Tetsu and Asaka in a condo with Takuto, and even changing your phone number just so that you could move in with me?"

"Yup! I missed you a lot Kai! And look at Rinka; she's grown up to be a very pretty girl! I have to protect this darling little princess from all the bad people out there don't I? After all, it's the big brother and the father's responsibility to make sure the precious little daughter of the family isn't corrupted!"

Rinka and Kai did their work and effort not to laugh their asses off. Aichi was more concerned about how their new neighbors might think.

Only the new ones, the old ones were sure that this day was coming even more than they were sure about the End of the World.

Ren stood up and stretched. Rinka stood up too.

Only to crack her whip and wring it around Ren's wrist.

"Wha-!?"

Rinka gave him a Demon's Eye to shut him up and dragged him off.

Aichi and Kai merely looked at each other, then back at the empty space in which Ren and their daughter previously occupied, then back at each other.

Kai smiled, swooping Aichi in his arms and giving him a most wonderful kiss.

"So, what was planned for dinner tonight, honey?"

* * *

A/N: YAYYYYYY! Finished in less than 1 hour, editing and all! Ren has finally moved in with the Sendou-Kai family! Lol, sorry for the angst at the beginning. GlowGlowBat made hers a bit angst with Kenji and I was grieving over lost time with my Black Butler (or Kuroshitsuji, if the name floats your boat better) episodes. Thus, my dearest apologies, this was supposed be a so-much-crack-you're-now-higher-than-a-damn-rocket-now-that-you've-read-it type of fic. Hopefully, this was alright.

Cheers to 2013 everybody! Happy (one-day-late) New Year!

(But since I'm Chinese, I'll celebrate this again on Feb. 1 so…) BP


End file.
